Heaven on Earth

I was lying in bed the other night. I could not get to sleep. I was still on a high from watching the UConn Men’s Basketball team win the NCAA championship, and I was happy for their success. My eyes were closed, and I was praying silently to myself, thanking God for allowing me to still be alive to watch my alma mater emerge victorious. But I knew I needed to get to sleep. The morning would be here before I knew it, and I needed to settle my brain.

So I went inward and began to imagine my life without pain, without ALS…I began to imagine my perfect life in Heaven. I could feel my body slowly relax. The weather was perfect: bright blue sky, dabbled with sunshine peaking through the minimal cloud cover. The grass was lush and green, the little house sat off a dirt road and was nestled amongst trees as well as the water. I could picture myself sitting in a white Adirondack chair doing the things I love: writing, painting, and planning for my next decorating project.

In my visionary dream, there was no stress. There was no illness. I felt so peaceful, and I could feel my body getting heavier as I began to fall asleep. I imagined a little craft cottage sitting on the far side of the property, a place where I could go to meditate and use my hands to create beautiful works of art. My pets, both past and present, were wandering the gardens chasing butterflies and rolling around on the dirt in the warm sunshine. Raised beds of lavender and mint tickled my nose. And then I imagined stepping into my quaint little cottage, perfectly decorated and filled with all of the things I love and cherish: pictures of loved ones adorning the walls, and I fix myself a tall glass of lemonade in my bright and inviting kitchen. It truly felt like heaven.

But here is the funny thing…my body was suddenly awake again, and I started to rethink that vision. I realized it is exactly what I already have. Okay, maybe there are a few things that are different, because I certainly don’t have the pets from my past, I am certainly not a gardener, and I do not have a craft cottage. But everything I love here on Earth is exactly what I imagine to have in Heaven waiting for me: a roof over my head, filled with items that are dear to me. And you can almost feel the love of the people I adore most within the confines of my home. And I am doing the things I love: writing, painting, decorating, and while I only live ten minutes from the water currently here on Earth, even in my visionary dream the water is always present. It’s sort of ironic, isn’t it, that what I imagined is exactly what I already have.

In spite of the challenges I face on a daily basis because of ALS, how can I possibly complain? Sure, I wish things were different in terms of my health, but I am still able to do all of the things that bring me joy. I felt wide awake again but I kept my eyes closed, a smile painted on my face. And I considered myself pretty darn lucky that my heaven is right here on Earth. And with that, I fell asleep.